Resentment

“Nothing is so intolerable to man as being fully at rest, without passion, without business, without entertainment, without care. It is then that he recognizes that he is empty, insufficient, dependent, and ineffectual. From the depths of his soul now comes at once boredom, gloom, sorrow, chagrin, resentment and despair.”

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Carrie Fisher


So when we talk of detachment on one side, while we are left empty initially in the process of detachment, chances are resentment will creep in. We may feel so angry for our past or even the present state. Afterall we have been on a journey wherein there were the dark unwanted emotions that crept in , held our life and after slowly over coming them we have reached a middle state.


We still have chance of going back to them , very easily , by following the path of resentment , or we can overcome this emotion too, by experiencing it and handling it in a proper way. And to do that we need to understand the state we are in.


When we may have chosen to let go of our past, let go of something that no longer exists , in our mind, chances are that surroundings may not be that conducive. People may still continue asking us about the past, or the person who is no longer a part of our life , we may come across the person who doesn’t want us to be a part of their life , in our daily handling , gifts, stuff , memorabilia all linked with what once beautifully was there. And then the dirty part of it strikes us, that it is no longer there. That we were discarded , to not to be a part of it anymore. And then initially when anger has subdued, its resentment that keeps raising its head.


And during those moment we usually end up doing one thing. Change the present, rather than accepting it.


And we try to change it either by futile efforts to take it back to the previous past state, or to destroy whatever there is even in the present of other person. One arises from the leftover feeling of guilt, of something that can still be done but was not done earlier, while other arises purely out of anger and jealousy towards the other.


And while we actually hold ourselves back to do any physical damage to ourselves or the other, the feeling keeps gnawing at us, within our mind and soul. And this is what is resentment. The helpless feeling of wanting to inflict all the damage on the other but still unable to do so. Maybe cos our sane mind holds us back, or maybe cos we still linger onto something from the past.


But whatever it is , this is one emotion that is very dichotomous in nature. What we feel we do not act, and what we act we may not be feeling. And that is where the problem lies in. We as humans are not supposed to be in a state of dichotomy. The moment we realize we are, we snap, react in some form or other.


So how do we pass through this so inevitable and yet not so wanted emotion? How do we experience it and yet not regret experiencing it? How do we sail through it without sinking in the brewing storm at horizon?


The way an outcome for a dichotomous state is stabilizing into either one of the state, the same way the shore of this troubled waters of Resentment , is forgiveness .


“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder