Letting Go :

Letting Go :

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."
~Havelock Ellis~

Having experienced loss and hurt, very few people are able to let it go. It is so easy for us to let go of happiness and good times , but somehow we humans have a big problem in letting go of the pain , hurt and suffering.  Instead of clinging onto happy times and moments we tend to do the opposite. People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."  as said by Thich Nhat Hanh

And the cases of letting go are not always of the unrequited love. We sometimes tend to not let go of our attachments to certain things, way of living, people & relations. Above all there are so many of them who are not able to let go of the life itself. It doesn’t mean to go ahead and commit suicide but their want of experiencing more in life, makes their breaths keep going. How many of us know to pack beautifully and leave gracefully? How many of us are able to walk away when it is time to walk away? We keep on lingering on what was once there but is no longer now. Anon has beautifully said that “Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. “

How do we let go ?  Sometimes this starts with physical form. With artifacts. Sometimes from moving away from the place to getting away from the things, pictures, and slowly the memories.  Creating a lifestyle which has many substitutes. Of replacing it with new schedules, things, objects of interests and areas of focus. At times external help is also required. The moments of vulnerability will be many. The urge to go back, sit down or not move on will be very high. But with a mental determination it is possible.  As said by Herman Hesse – “Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

When do we decide to let go? Well, the time is- now and the place is -here. The very presence of thought, option of letting go is an indication that it is the time to let go. At times we cannot leave the person, situation in lurch and leave immediately. But at times we have to.  Do it not because there is no other option, but do it , because that is exactly what needs to be done.

We don’t always let go because we want to, but because many a times the other person wants to. Afterall if we are 50% of a relationship, so is the other person too. Coming together into a relationship is a mutual choice of both the persons in relation, but sadly walking away or walking out is a decision of one of them. So how is the other person supposed to react on it? Simply , if the other person ever felt truly, then the person is supposed to respect the decision of other. Cos either its there forever, or it never was. One action of walking out cannot or rather should not affect your feelings for the other. After all it is the person and his qualities we like, not the decisions. 

“You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” - Guy Finley