Solitude

Solitude :

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” - Mother Teresa

“Language has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone.  And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. “  - Paul Johannes Tillich

I realized it big time that opposite of Loneliness is not Companionship. Its “Solitude.” There definitely is a big difference in being Lonely and being Alone. Not everyone is comfortable sleeping in his or her own skin at the end of the day and still wake up the next morning with the same feelings for the self. As Eric Hoffer has said “With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves.  For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves.” 

So when no man is an island and humans are the most social creatures on the planet earth, why do we require solitude?  Why do we need to try to take a dip into those serene waters time and again? How can we be lost into a world that we are born into and supposed to live in? And why is that the person who enjoys solitude the most is not the person who was looking for it desperately, in the first place?

Because after living so close to someone for quite some time we tend to give away so much of ourselves that we start missing ourselves. Also at times it such happens that the other person is suddenly no longer there in our life. All that is left behind is the absence and ourselves. While we try to come to terms with living with the absence, we somewhere try to find company with ourselves. Not because we love ourselves so much, but because we do not want anyone else to fill the void. Afterall sleeping with self is more infidel than with someone we are not supposed to, and travelling alone is much better than bad companion.

The biggest criteria to feel Solitude is to be comfortable with Self. While we may be alone many a times because of circumstances , we are not always solitary. Its not easy to not to hear anything, not by being deaf , but by actually being silent. Not externally, but within. Which is really tough for a human mind, with its constant thought process, moving from one person to another, one place to another and one past to another. But the moment we are really silent within is the moment we experience Solitude and then starts the reverse flow of energy. From absorption of energy to keep us alive, to creation of energy to spread life, within and around us. Where do we find solitude ? Men have travelled far and wide to seek solitude. To the remotest of mountains, or into the forests, to the deepest of oceans and the origins of rivers, only to find that they have travelled from themselves to themselves. Be it a crowded train station to a flea market to a huge office, to feel Solitude all we need is ourselves.

Many a times we make a mortal mistake of running around, seeking substitutes for the sudden void and the new found loneliness because of absence of an important person from our life. From sleeping around, to making commitments that we never intend to keep, to befriending someone whom we don’t intend to ever open up to, we end up in finding temporary solutions. No more treachery has ever been committed than by a person who feels the absence strongly. Be it by body or even in mind. And just before the point of treason is a point of option that arises where some choose to remain with self and others choose the mirage, with the hope of having the thirst quenched. It is at this vantage point that the strength of character is tested. And precisely at this point the Gold emerges out of fire. Molten, Deformed, scarred and yet more pure than ever. Strong men have been able to choose Solitude but for major mortals like us, we grow into solitude. After knocking many a door, it stumbles upon us when we are most unaware of it, and then opens up a world unknown to us but where we suddenly find ourselves finally at peace with self. Not only does it heal us but it nurtures us and helps us grow too. Into something, that we may not know but we are supposed to. 

Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.